Ten years ago I started my first, full-time job at a tech company. A few months in I had an argument with one of the company’s salesmen. At one point, instead of answering my question, he countered with, “What? Are you going to cry now?” I quickly retorted, “I don’t cry when I get mad, I yell!” Here’s the thing: we both had valid points to make so why resort to using a stupid stereotype? This marked the first time, but not the last, that my interactions with men in the tech field would be peppered with baffling responses based on stereotypes. I remembered this argument and others like it, when I caught a segment on NPR this week about women asking for raises. The interview focused on the work of Linda Babcock, an economist at Carnegie Mellon University. She found that women hesitate to negotiate for more money, and her research uncovered a very good reason why. Babcock conducted a study that showed viewers a video of men and women asking for raises using matching scripts: “People found [the woman] to be way too aggressive,” Babcock says. “She was successful in getting the money, but people did not like her. They thought she was too demanding. And this can have real consequences for a woman’s career.” When Alexia Tsotsis first discussed the infographic produced by an unapologetically wrong-headed Wpromote, critical comments ranged from you’re “taking this way too seriously,” to “I find feminist rants like this really boring.” To those commentators, allow me to put the argument squarely in your backyard by challenging you with this: would you want the accomplishments of your daughter, your sister, your wife, or your mother belittled by a caricature? Wpromote joined the conversation with the following saccharin-filled comment: We at Wpromote are thrilled to have this infographic featured on TC; we’re big fans! We know this was probably a little controversial but all that we were aiming to do was to spotlight some really fantastic women and, at the same time, have a little fun with it! We hope that nobody takes this too seriously. If it makes you crack a smile or look up the accomplishments of one of these women, then we’re happy. But the big point that Tsotsis unwittingly makes, which seems to be missing from other comments, including Wpromote’s, is how poorly the chart represents what it’s supposedly celebrating: the success of talented women in tech. The belittling goes almost unquestioned. When I first saw the graphic, I indulged in my own stereotype and thought that it was the brainchild of an all-male team. Imagine my surprise when I saw several women on Wpromote’s management team. The reality is they’re not the only ones that would have given it a pass all in the name of “fun.” Knowing that women are still a minority in these major tech areas, we’re told condescendingly that if “it makes you crack a smile or look up the accomplishments of one of these women, then [Wpromote is] happy.” How does this approach encourage women to enter challenging, male-dominated fields if upon arrival their skill and success is treated lightly? When we fail to push back against such nonsense and bad taste then we’re abetting the behavior and the attitude that says it’s OK to define a woman by something other than her intelligence and ability. In many ways the most aggravating aspect of the pink nightmare was the approach to the “non-tech” women.” While I don’t care personally for Sarah Palin, Snooki, or Jenna Jameson, this infographic sets them up as punchlines. Their success, even if it may prove short lived or controversial, is mocked although it is often unmatched by the critics. What level of success do women have to achieve before they’re taken seriously? The boys’ club mentality aside, the role of women in this argument can’t be ignored. Remember the Babcock study? Both men and women were put off by a woman negotiating. But wait, aren’t we all “sisters” and the men are the enemy? Hardly. My frustration level rises when I’m advised to, “Just work the system.” And it’s difficult advice to argue with based on Babcock’s opinion after she ran tests with Hannah Riley Bowles from Harvard on how a woman could negotiate without backlash: The trick, Babcock says, is to conform to a feminine stereotype: appear friendly, warm and concerned for others above yourself. “I gotta say, that was very depressing!” she says with a laugh. Depressing is one word for it. Another is bullshit. As a society we view men and women differently. Since we are different, this view isn’t entirely unexpected, and we’ve proven willing to change and adapt our views towards each other over time. What still remains unclear is what it will take for women with talent and experience to be celebrated for their success, minus the bobble heads, without the stereotypical reactions and expectations from within the industry.
Pink Infographics Aren’t Fun, They’re Irritating
We Still Need to Talk about Women in Tech
Women are Guilty, Too
The System is Broken So We Shouldn’t Just Play Along
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